Day 2

Anxiety fills my body with dread that I may have been too late to save that which I had and now know that which is the most valuable gift that I received. Sadly, it is also my fault that I may have lost it. A gift wrapped in love and bowed in devotion..... Jing.

I may have accepted the fact that I am too late to save myself from losing her. Though I try to be optimistic, remembering the hardships that I caused her is a big slap to my face reminding me that it is all my fault. Fact, I hurt her. Fact, I took bad care of her. Fact, it took me too long to wake up. Now, I will get her back....... a fictious hallucination brought about a late sense of longing and desire to devote one self for the happiness of another. Sigh.

It has been 2 long days since I asked her what she wanted. From there I was left with a single question. A question that may simply force me to abandon hope or be humbled to prove my worth. I asked her "Would you rather want to move on or give me another chance to love you?". In 2 weeks. that question may stab me in the heart and bleed it dry or give me hope that I now have a single chance for redemption. One more chance to prove that I am worth being with her. One chace to love her right this time.

Is this wishing for too much?

Maybe...... but I still have to try.